


Just Like Me (I Don't Care That I'm Reckless)

by LettersToShakespear



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe, Blood, Kili is...something, M/M, Not Related, Rebellion, SCIFI AU, Science Fiction, Slow Burn, Things aren't exactly what they seem, Underage I guess? Depending on how you look at it, Violence, genetic manipulation, idek, non-linear, sort of slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-30
Updated: 2015-12-06
Packaged: 2018-05-04 05:55:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5323004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LettersToShakespear/pseuds/LettersToShakespear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Story Abandoned</p><p>Kili has spent his entire life living within the confines of the Compound, living vicariously through his hologram. It's not until one fateful night that he decides to sneak out that everything changes, all because of a chance meeting with a certain blond. </p><p>Between the Compound, The High Council, The Alchemical Association, Officiators, and his own internal struggle to fight his genetics, Kili will be hard pressed to keep himself and his new friend alive. </p><p>A revolution is brewing, and Kili is at the center of it all. </p><p>(Non-Linear fic. Originally posted in my tumblr prompts work, but I've decided to make it its own work. I suck at descriptions, so check it out and give it a try :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, I've finally decided to make the scifi au its own work! I'll be keeping the originals up in my tumblr prompts work, but from here on out all updates will be on this work :) 
> 
> Also, I apologize for starting another new work, I'm terrible, I know, especially when I have so many other works going on right now! 
> 
> I'd also like to give a huuuuge thank you to vaguetauperamblings for inspiring me to create the title of this fic! It probably still wouldn't be up if it weren't for you! 
> 
> This fic is also Non-Linear, so it's going to jump around. I'll try to mention in the notes of every chapter when about the chapters take place in the timeline.

* * *

 

He is an anomaly; a genetic manipulation that is enhanced in every single way that his creators ever wanted. He is resistant to illness, has an increased healing rate, and a metabolism that forces him to constantly eat to keep up his energy. His intelligence is bordering genius and his reflexes are fantastic. Physically he’s tall with long brown tresses and a pretty face that anyone would swoon for.

 

The only things that give away his true heritage are venomous green eyes and a mouthful of sharply pointed teeth. No amount of genetic manipulation could change those trademarks. His people had snuck his embryo from the depths of the woods and into center city with the help of one of the many scientists that resided within. After he had been born from a test tube, he’d been raised in secret within the city, a part of the resistance before he even knew how to talk.

 

Kili has known nothing more than the secret compound beneath the city for many years. It’s not until he’s 17 that he finally manages to sneak out, desperate to see the city, to get out of his glorified prison and to speak to anyone that isn’t one of the scientists or members of the resistance. He’s seen lots of pictures of the city, as well as many videos upon his hologram. Nothing that he has seen in his room gives the city any justice.

 

Standing in the shadows wearing his darkest clothes, he looks out from an alleyway. The streets bustle and teem, pedestrians cluttering the sidewalks and automated cars gliding effortlessly over designated areas. Flashing holographic signs and adverts are all along the streets, slightly pixilated men and women standing at the corners of streets to help guide visitors to different locations within the city.

 

It’s overwhelming in its brightness, in its fast pace and loud sounds. He’s not sure if he likes it, this city with its blaring technology. His people want to overthrow the leaders of this city, start off small by getting on the good side of the poor and the hungry, those who can’t afford the expensive technology of the new world. To attract those who are struggling and are barely managing to survive. He is to be one of the many keys that will turn the locks of the oppressed. Kili will help to set them all free from the oppressive force of the High Council. 

 

At least.. that’s what they tell him. He’s not sure about that himself.

 

It’s while he’s looking on wide-eyed and awestruck that the shit hits the fan. He doesn’t notice the holographic Guardian until it is to late, sirens wailing and bright lights being cast into the dark of the alleyway. It burns his eyes, the sounds to much and if he doesn’t get out soon, the officiators will show up and he will be shot down with tranquilizers. They’ll do studies on him, cut him open and see the modifications done to his genetics before they leave him to rot in one of the work camps. He refuses to let it happen.

 

Feet fly without conscious thought, pounding down the pavement as sirens wail and citizens scream. The other end of the alleyway is already being circled around. Heart beats fast and his nails extend, throwing himself against brick walls as he scales up the building until he can reach the fire escape. Yelling and shouting follows, the crack of gunshots but he ignores them all, gets to the top of the building and sprints across. He jumps over the gaps between the buildings easily, barely stumbling as he goes on and on. Each and every emotion is tightly controlled within his mind, forced into its own little compartmentalized box so that he doesn’t get distracted from his task. Survival.

 

Kili is focused on not letting the tight coil of fear inside explode through his veins. He’s focused on not letting the anxiety take control, for everything to not get out of hand. Because of he lets it, it will all take over his mind, grip on tight to the meat of his brain and refuse to let go. And if that happens, he’ll go berserk, and he will be everything that has caused his people to be oppressed.

 

His focus is so intent that at first, he doesn’t notice the sticky blood that drips from his shoulder. It sneaks up on him; a light burning sensation that spreads, turning into a tingling sensation that he can feel all along his arm. Kili notices when he stumbles on one of the rooftops, shoulder slamming onto hard concrete as he falls into a roll. Harsh gasp escapes his mouth, eyes squeezing tight as he tries to hold in curses of pain.

 

Sirens are still wailing in the distance, and he knows that he isn’t far enough away from where he was sited. He doesn’t even know where he is right now, his map is programmed on his hologram and it’s shoved in his bag. He wants to reach in and see where he is, but the light might alert someone to his location and he can’t be caught, but he needs to find his way back to the compound, he needs to-

 

“What are you doing?”

 

Kili doesn’t stop the sharp gasp that escapes his mouth, body instantly flailing and he crab crawls away from the man that has appeared on the rooftop, shoulder protesting with each movement that he makes.

 

A quick look lets him see that the ‘man’ before him is probably closer to his age than anything. Long, wavy blond hair hanging past his shoulders with braids adorning either side of his face. He has blue eyes, is muscular but short, and he doesn’t seem to have any weapons on him, though from his stance he knows how to fight. Kili can’t help but to catalogue all potential threats.

 

“I asked you a question.”

 

He keeps his head down, knows that if the blond gets a good enough look he’ll notice the glowing green eyes; the sharp white teeth that spread through his mouth, the same ones that have cut open his own lips thousands of times. He knows the taste of his own blood better than anything else in the world.

 

“Shit, you’re bleeding! C’mon, you can’t stay out here, I’ll patch you up in my apartment.”

 

Gentle hand lightly touches his shoulder. Years of training make him react automatically, body moving and flipping the blond onto the ground in a matter of seconds. It’s not until he’s face to face with the man that Kili realizes what a stupid thing it was to do. Blue eyes are wide and filled with a certain amount of fear, the blonde’s body stiffening while his pulse spikes.

 

“Y-you’re one of them, a-“

 

“Don’t say it, please don’t say it, they might hear it, the Officiators frequencies are tuned to it,” he pleads quietly, fingers digging into the cloth of the blonds shirt.

 

“What’s your name?”

 

“I-What?”

 

“Your name. I won’t say anything if you tell me your name.”

 

“I-it’s Kili.”

 

“Mines Fili. Now we’ve been properly introduced, you can come with me and I can check out your shoulder.”

 

“Why should I trust you?” He whispers the words, suspicion flooding through him because he’d been told that most humans were monsters that’d give him over in a second if he came into contact with them.

 

“Well, I haven’t sold you out yet, so I’d say that’s something to go off of.”

 

To say that Kili is disarmed by the light smile on Fili’s face would be an understatement. After all that he’d learned in the compound, Kili’d never thought that his first human encounter would be like this. Before he knows it he finds himself nodding his head, moving off of Fili and moving back quietly.

 

“C’mon then, before the Officiators show up.”

 

He stumbles along after Fili without question.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Kili follows Fili with his hood drawn tightly around his head, arms crossed and stumbling from the top of the building and down the stairs into the apartment complex. The blond chatters the entire time.

 

“I’m training at the hospital right now, I'm in the medical field. Focusing on synthetic healing and all that. I have some stuff lying about that I can use to patch you up. I might have grabbed a few things from the hospital I visited a few weeks ago to try out a few things. I couldn't help myself, it’s all so fascinating.”

 

Kili only nods his head, keeps his eyes down and tries not to let the stinging ache in his shoulder get the best of him. He does his best not to drip blood all down the hallway. The last thing he needs is to leave evidence behind. When they get into Fili’s apartment, he doesn’t try as hard to keep blood off of the floor. He had, after all, offered to patch Kili up, and blood would certainly be part of it.

 

“You’re not very talkative, are you?”

 

He shrugs.

 

“I don’t have a lot of people to talk to. I guess I.. I don’t really know how to.”

 

Fili seems to ponder the words for a moment, nodding his head before he beckons for Kili to follow him into the bathroom. He finds himself sitting down on the closed toilet lid as Fili rifles around and pulls out a few different things. Some of the items look familiar, such as the syntheskin. Others items, not so much.

 

“Take off your hoodie. And your shirt, for that matter.”

 

Kili feels his eyes go wide, arms wrapping around his stomach as he peers at Fili through his lashes. He doesn’t know where the sudden shyness has come from, but it’s there and he doesn’t know how to handle it. The emotion is mostly foreign to him.

 

“I promise I won’t hurt you. Really.”

 

He doesn’t say anything, just slowly takes off the layers of clothing that act as a protective shell. At least, that’s what they are in Kili’s mind. Fili doesn’t say anything, just inches closer towards Kili as he pokes and prods at the wound on his shoulder.

 

“From the liquid that’s surrounding the area, I’m going to say that the Officiators used a bullet specially designed to hurt your kind. Are you feeling any paralytic effects?”

 

“No.”

 

“Are you sure? Honestly, you should be feeling something by now, you’re-“

 

“I’m not feeling anything,” he interrupts. Fili only nods his head, pulls out a bottle of liquid and shows it to Kili.

 

“I’ll put this on the wound first. It gets down into cuts and then kind of bubbles and froths out. It’ll get any dirt or toxins out.”

 

“I don’t need it.”

 

“All the same, better safe than sorry.”

 

It’s quiet after that. Fili pours the liquid onto the wound, and it does just as he says; frothy pink foam bubbles out from the wound and Fili wipes it away with a washcloth. Despite that he can already feel the wound starting to pull itself back together, he allows Fili to spray the syntheskin on. He doesn’t have the heart to tell the blond that he doesn’t really need it, though the absence of pain does feel nice. That he will admit.

 

“Can I ask you why you’re in the city? I thought that all of you who’re free are hiding out in the Evermere?”

 

Kili doesn’t say anything, just grabs his bloodied things and moves to put them back on.

 

“If you answer me, I’ll let you have a clean shirt. Answer a few more, I could be persuaded into making you something to eat.”

 

The words are followed with a wide smile, and Kili blushes. A voice whispers flirtation, but he’s unfamiliar with that particular bit of human interaction as well.

 

“I.. I’m not supposed to tell,” he mumbles, rubbing at his quickly healing shoulder. Fili slaps his hand away.

 

“You’ll mess it up if you touch it.”

 

“I’m genetically engineered, I don’t even need it.”

 

The words slip out and his eyes go wide, mouth slipping open and he doesn’t even know why. Maybe the bullet was having an effect, or maybe he was finally feeling the shock of being shot at and chased down by Officiators, the human system of police that had haunted his nightmares for years. Fili only hums.

 

“That explains a few things. Are you.. a part of the movement? I’ve heard of them you know. There’s whispers on the street and.. well I agree with them. That your people don’t deserve to be treated like animals. That the class differences between the uppers and lowers are to great.”

 

“Do I get a shirt now?”

 

Bright laughter fills the room and Kili feels his heart freeze in his chest, breath caught in his lungs and he has _never_ heard a more beautiful sound. He wonders if Fili’s laugh is just that beautiful, or if it is because he’s heard so little laughter in his life.

 

“You didn’t answer the question.”

 

“I snuck out of the compound that I’ve lived in my whole life. I.. I’ve never seen the city before. I’ve never been outside of it and I.. I’ve seen so many pictures on my hologram and so I thought that I’d look around. I guess that was pretty stupid of me.”

 

“Course it isn’t! You just wanted to see the world! There’s nothing wrong with that Kili.”

 

“I’ll get in trouble. I’ll probably be put on a restrictive schedule and they’ll take all of my books away and my holo. I won’t be able to train with my friends.”

 

“Sometimes getting in trouble is worth it. Aren’t you glad you got to see it? Minus the getting shot bit?”

 

“I uhm. Yeah, it’s.. it’s amazing. The pictures and the holovids don’t really do it justice.”

 

“Glad you liked it. The government’s shit but the city’s at least nice to look at. Well, the part you saw at least. But come on. I owe you a shirt now.”

 

Fili leads him out into the kitchen where there’s a bar with two stools that doubles as a counter top for cooking. He makes Kili sit down while he gets him a shirt, and when he returns he tosses him the light blue piece of fabric. It’s soft against his skin when he slips it on. It’s a little big and it hangs a little off of one of his shoulders, but he doesn’t mind. He clutches his bag close to himself.

 

“Are you afraid of me?”

 

Fili looks genuinely curious, pulling a bar stool around to the other side so that they are sitting across from one another. He doesn’t say anything at all, just holds on to his bag just that little bit tighter.

 

“All the horror stories say that your supposed to be a beserking, angry little thing. And that you like to bite. And here I am, a med doctor in training, and you’re afraid of me,” Fili smiles, teasing tone in his voice and Kili just doesn’t even know what to say to that.

 

“Can I see your teeth?”

 

He supposes that he should feel offended by the question, or that maybe he should say no, say anything, really. But he doesn’t. Instead he blinks slowly before opening his mouth baring a mouthful of wickedly sharp teeth, lips pulled back so that Fili can see. And Fili does look, leans forward in fascination and peers at them like they are the newest trend on the holo.

 

But Kili isn’t expecting the finger that reaches out and drags along one of his canines, the skin indenting down before there is a dribble of blood that runs down onto his tongue. Kili tears himself away, snaps his mouth shut and tries to ignore the taste in his mouth, light whimper escaping his lips as he topples off of the bar stool, pushing himself into a corner as he squeezes his eyes shut, trying his hardest to not let the taste of blood get the best of him, to not go beserk right there in the middle of Fili’s apartment.

 

“Fuck! Shit, Kili, I’m so sorry, I don’t know why I did that! I’m so sorry, it’s okay though, it’s alright, just.. just breathe? Or something? Uhm, find your zen? Shit, I’m really bad at trying to get people to calm down Kili, so work with me okay?”

 

And he’s shocked, completely taken aback by Fili and the words that he says that his mind drifts away from the bloodlust. Peering up, he sees that Fili is crouched before him, hands fluttering and mouth going on and on. And he laughs.

 

It starts off as a quiet little hiccup of a thing before it grows into something that rolls through his gut, shakes his shoulders and makes little tears form at the corners of his eyes.

 

“You’re weird, Fili.”

 

“Yeah. I get that sometimes. I really am sorry though, that was really stupid of me, and I didn’t even ask. I’m making a real ass of myself.”

 

“It’s okay.”

 

“I have to ask though. How do you not cut your mouth open all the time with all of those?”

 

“I cut myself on them all the time. They’re very sharp, but the quick healing helps a lot.”

 

Fili nods his head, settles down on the floor and peers at Kili with wide blue eyes. He’s never had this amount of curiosity directed towards him before, never had someone who was interested and not afraid. It’s novel, and he likes it.

 

“How do you manage not to cut other people on them?”

 

“I- W-what do you mean by that?”

 

“Well, when you kiss someone. How do you not shred them into little bits with all those pointy teeth?”

 

Deep flush coats his skin and he didn’t even realize that he was capable of being timid and shy. It’s not something that comes up often, considering that he knows all of the other men and women who have lived in the compound with him since birth. There’s no sense of discomfort for him around the others. Fili creates all of this in him, and he has no idea on what the hell he should do with it.

  
“I wouldn’t.. I wouldn’t know?”

 

“What do you mean you wouldn’t know? You didn’t have to take a vow of abstinence or anything, right?” Fili is dumbfounded, peering at Kili like he’s some kind of foreign species. Or, well.. more foreign than he already is.

 

“No! I just don’t like anyone there! I mean, Ori’s the youngest and he’s 16, a year less than me, and then Legolas is 18 and he’s obsessed with Tauriel and.. and there isn’t a very big pool of people to choose from!”

 

He’s not even sure why he’s trying to defend himself so adamantly but he can’t help it, damn it! Fili is giving him this look and Kili feels like he’s being judged or something. Well, obviously he’s being judged, that’s pretty obvious, but he feels a little attacked and a little-

 

“You don’t talk a lot, but you sure do think a lot, don’t you?”

 

Kili _glares._ And maybe snarls. A little. Or a lot. And for some reason that makes Fili smile, eyes shining once more as he scoots a little closer to the teen that’s huddled down on his floor.

 

“Wanna find out how it works?”

 

“Is this what flirting is supposed to be? Is that what you’re doing?”

 

And he’s confused; he really is, because he has _never_ had to deal with something like this before. Fili only laughs.

 

“Kili, you really need to get out more.”

 

He doesn’t say a damn thing, just sits and glares with his glowing green eyes.

 

“Come here.”

 

“I – what?”

 

Fili doesn’t say anything, scoots closer until he is mere inches away from Kili’s face. He doesn’t know how to react to the proximity, only ever being this close to another when he has been training. The blond doesn’t seem to have any qualms about it, smiling softly as he peers into green eyes.

 

“What are you doing?” He manages to murmur, eyes wide as he focuses in on the features of Fili’s face.

 

“Teaching you something new.”

 

The first touch of lips against his skin is a soft slide trailing along the ridges of his cheekbone. Breath goes still in his chest, eyes falling shut and all thought processing is thrown out the window. Nothing exists but the warm breath that ghosts along his skin, the little tingles that bubble up when Fili brushes his lips against his own, moving ever so softly.

 

Light warmth builds up inside of him as he begins to kiss back, moving and molding his lips against Fili’s because that’s what all the holomovies ever showed. He’s not prepared for the curling waves of desire that crash through him, nor for the way that Fili begins to suckle at his lower lip, soft flesh bitten softly by blunt teeth.

 

Kili knows the dark and deadly heat that builds up within when he is about to go berserk, but this heat is different. It emanates from his chest, spreads tingling warmth that blisters out from his skin. Little noises spread from the back of his throat when fingers tangle into his hair, head being angled easily so that Fili can gain better access.

 

His own hands manage to find their way to Fili’s shoulders; fingers digging lightly into the fabric of his shirt as he follows the blonds lead. He only hesitates for a moment when he feels the slick swipe of a tongue against his lips, head too dizzy to be able to stop things from progressing.

 

It starts out soft and hesitant, Fili licking carefully into his mouth with small, soft strokes. He finds it easy to melt into it, allowing himself to kiss back, trying his best to not catch Fili with his teeth. But it’s hard to keep in track of things when his hair is being pulled, fingers tangled into tresses whilst the very breath in his lungs is being kissed away. Fili doesn’t hold back, inches his way into Kili’s lap and kisses the teen like there will be no tomorrow.

 

Somewhere in it all Kili comprehends the burst of copper upon his tongue, teeth aching in his jaw at the flavor. He can’t help the small whimper that leaves him, nor can he stop himself from pushing himself as close as he can to Fili, desperate to have more, to taste all that Fili has to offer. He’s so caught up in the taste and feel of Fili that he doesn’t think about what could happen if he consumes enough blood, that he might go berserk and tear the entire place apart, Fili included. In the mix of it all they break apart to truly breathe, faces still so close that all Kili needs to do is move a half inch to start it all over again.

 

He feels heavy and on fire, lips pulsing with heat and eyes burning with something he has never felt before. Before him, Fili sits looking completely debauched, hair a tangled mess and lips smeared with the heavy red of his blood. He wants nothing more than to suck that mouth clean, to lick once more into Fili’s mouth.

 

“You’re magnificent,” Fili murmurs, fingers running through chocolate hair.

 

“I hurt you though.”

 

Kili looks away, suddenly sickened at the sight of the blood that is smeared across Fili’s mouth. It’s so stark against his skin and his stomach is _rolling_ with how upset he is with himself.

 

“Don’t blame yourself Kili, your teeth are sharp, it’ll happen. Besides, I thoroughly enjoyed myself, even with the nicks. And it was your first time. Practice will help you figure it out. I can help with that.”

 

He feels his eyes go wide, lips parting slowly as he looks at the earnest blond before him. They barley know each other, not even at that, and Fili is already talking about next times and practice and-

 

“We don’t have to kiss anymore if you don’t want to. But we can be friends, can’t we? I can show you all the things you’ve probably missed because you haven’t had anyone out in the real world to show you. But only if you want to.”

 

It’s probably remiss of him to want this, it goes against everything that he’s supposed to stand for. At least, what they tell him to stand for. And he’s never asked for anything, has always done as he is told, and looking at Fili, Kili knows that for once, he has finally found something that he wants for himself alone.

 

“I’m old enough to go out on assignment now.. and I know part of it is to make converts and get people on our side. I could make a case for myself and then maybe I could visit whenever I’m out if you.. if you want.”

 

Bright smile splashes across Fili’s face, eyes glittering as he laughs.

 

“Of course I want you to visit! Besides, you’re not getting rid of me that easy Kili. Spend the night with me, just to hang out and get to know each other? Would you get in trouble for that?”

 

“I’ll already be in trouble. I suppose if I’m going to be in a lot, why not be in even more?”

 

Blue eyes twinkle and so do poisonous green, lives and fates twisting and changing with a single chance meeting upon a city rooftop.

* * *

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place a few months after Fili and Kili's first meeting :) 
> 
> It was originally a prompt fill for astaraiches-oisinn, who asked for Fili showing Kili around the city during a holiday.

* * *

 

The night is chill, swirling wind funneling down from the mountains and into the city walls. Kili stands silently on a rooftop as he watches the revelries below; parades, dancing in the streets and emberworks that burst and crackle in waves of light in the sky, their images imprinted for a few short minutes before they disappear and another wave is shot skywards.

 

Kili has never had any inclination to celebrate this holiday, Fiernight. It was the people’s way of welcoming in the New Year, with emberwork displays and massive bonfires raging all night. Light up the old and in with the new. The High Council used it as a reason to burn down the dilapidated and condemned buildings that the impoverished lived within. It was something he didn't like thinking about.

 

It didn't help that the raging flames always brought flashes of the shared memories of his race, of the Evermere burning, homes destroyed and people slaughtered. Flicker of flame is always present in the little flashes that he sees. Kili supposes that he is predisposed to dislike this holiday.

 

Fili, on the other hand, adores it, which is the only reason he had left the compound willingly this night. He’d promised to meet the doctor in training on the rooftop so they could delve into the city and explore the festivities. There were a thousand reasons why this was a bad idea, but Fili had been so convincing, carding fingers through his hair and pressing kisses against his lips and cheeks as he made his arguments. Eventually he had given in. Kili hadn’t known how to explain to Fili that he is haunted by memories that aren’t even his own.

 

So he waits on the rooftop, hood carefully pulled over his head so that the green glow of his eyes can’t be seen, but he can still see. There’s a scarf wrapped around the lower half of his face as well, the better to hide his teeth. He’s lucky that it’s freezing out and no one will be likely to judge him odd for hiding his face.

 

“Hi.”

 

A pair of arms wrap tightly around his waist, cold nose burrowing into all of his protective layers. It doesn’t take long for the cold little thing to be pressed against his neck, sending a small shiver down his spine. Fili’s smile and gush of breath is hot against his skin.

 

“You’ve been outside for not even a minute and your nose is already frozen. How do you expect to survive the night?” Kili teases, twisting his head the slightest bit so he can press a kiss to Fili’s cheek.

 

“We’ll be toasty enough once we get down into the crowds. I bet you’ll love the street performers! And the dances are wonderful to watch! There’s also this treat I want you to try, it’s only made this one day every year!”

 

Kili can’t help but to smile at the excited light that fills his favorite pair of blue eyes, hand reaching out to lace their fingers together. Fili goes on an on as they climb down the fire escape, Kili making sure to go slowly so that Fili can keep up. It’s once they reach the bottom that Fili pulls him into a real hug, arms squeezing tightly around him.

 

“If anything bad happens, run, okay? They’ve programmed extra Holo-Gaurdians for tonight. If they alert the Officiaters, I’ll make a distraction or something, okay?”

 

“That’s not going to happen. Now come on, I’ve been guaranteed a night of endless fun, and I don’t think that includes hiding out in an alleyway,” Kili smiles, nudging Fili gently.

 

“Okay, Okay… Food first!”

 

* * *

 

 

The treats that Fili buys are warm, sticky, and sweet, delicious dough with cinnamon that makes his mouth water. Kili eats four of them himself, and though he has to eat them a bit secretively so as to hide his teeth, it’s completely worth it.

 

“Got a bit of something on your face, sweetheart,” Fili murmurs, thumb running by the corner of Kili’s mouth. He licks it off without a second thought, making Kili’s insides twist up with heat. Their search for street dancers turns into a perfect distraction from his thoughts.

 

Most of the dancers are dressed in lovely silks, twirling and swaying like the flickering flames that light up the city. Others move fast on their feet, graceful but viper-like, more like a raging inferno than a controlled flame. He has to be dragged away by Fili because he’s so enraptured. Part of him wonders if he could apply his fighting skills to learn their dances. Fighting, in his mind, was already a form of dance, just a more unpredictable kind than the one he was watching now.

 

They spend hours wandering around the city, watching children roast marshmallows and dancers perform. Live music is played at almost every corner, while men and women juggle swords and swallow down flaming torches. There’s a close call with a Holo-Guard, but Kili quickly disappears within the crowd before he can be seen, rejoining with Fili a half hour or so later. The blond spends the entire time trying to act normal, when all he wants is to shout Kili's name.

 

The crackle of fire is ever present.

 

“Want to go back to the rooftop? They’ll be setting the emberworks off soon enough. Then it’ll be the New Year,” Fili smiles.

 

“Okay. But only if you buy me another sticky bun to keep me warm. I like those.”

 

Fili snorts, shakes his head but gives in, stopping at the nearest vendor. Kili practically coos once the treat is placed in his hands, cradling it like it’s the most precious thing he has ever held. Fili is consumed with affection.

 

It takes them maybe a half an hour to get back to Fili’s rooftop with Kili leading the way, weaving in and out of the crowds like a snake. Fili just stumbles along as best as he can. He tries to go in the front of the apartment building, but Kili drags him towards the fire escape instead, stating that he knows for a fact that Fili won’t emerge outside again if he’s allowed into warmth for even a nanosecond. He can’t exactly disagree.

 

“Where’s the best place to see them up here? I want a perfect view if I’m going to be freezing up here with you,” Kili teased, skipping and running around the rooftop like a child who has had too much sugar. Well.. he partially fit that description, actually.

 

“Over here. But you’ll miss them if you’re running around like that.”

 

“I’m a great multi-tasker,” Kili smiles. But he sits down next to Fili anyways, pulling the scarf away from his mouth and tangling their hands together.

 

“So I’ve learned.”

 

They spend the next few minutes playfully pushing and shoving one another, but Kili easily gains the upper hand, pinning Fili onto the ground as he smiles down at him.

 

“Looks like I’ve got myself another tasty treat.”

 

Crackles and bursts fill the air as the emberworks go off, cheering accompanying the dazzling sights. Kili doesn’t have eyes for anything but the curve of Fili’s cheek, the messy waves of his hair, the sparkle in bright blue eyes. Lips press together gently, Kili’s parting to allow Fili’s carefully probing tongue within.

 

It always starts soft but turns into a mess of saliva and blood; little cuts slashed across Fili’s lips and tongue. Fili nips and Kili sucks, tongues and teeth clashing as they lay out on the rooftop. It’s sharp and slick, full of the taste of cinnamon and blood. Kili feels that edge that’s always there when he kisses Fili, the need to lose control and tear into the blond below him, but he never does. It’s exhilarating.

 

They miss most of the emberworks.

 

“Happy New Year, Fili.”

 

Fili smiles up at him with bloodstained lips and teeth, red liquid smudged all over. Kili moves forward to peck a kiss on the tip of his nose, Fili’s hands trailing up and down his back all the while.

 

“Happy New Year, Kili.”

 

Maybe Fiernight wasn't so bad after all.

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I made a minor edits from the original of this chapter. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, comments and kudos are always appreciated :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This prompt takes place probably about four months after Fili and Kili's Initial meeting, and after Fiernight. 
> 
> This was also originally a prompt fill for Littleravenkili, in which Fili gets hurt and Kili has to fix him up.

* * *

 

They’re supposed to meet at the edge of the harbor, right before the old docks merge into the poorest part of the city; The Murkway. It’s a dilapidated area full of apartment buildings that haven’t been updated in decades, crumbling facades and trash littering the streets. Only Hologaurds were in this part of the city, the Officiators only located in areas deemed the most important. Half the reason Murkway was filled with so much crime was because of the lack of Officiators. The amount of time it took to get to that part of the city didn’t allow for much crime fighting to take place.

 

Despite it’s dangerous nature, outside of Murkway was one of the easiest places for Kili and Fili to meet up. Less Officiators meant less danger and a greater chance of not getting caught on his part. Its small alleyways and confusing buildings also made it much easier to lose Officiators in a chase, something important for not only him but for Fili as well. If anything terrified Kili more, it was the thought that Fili would be put in danger because of him. Meeting up was already filled with enough risks.

 

Getting to Murkway without getting questioned could be a hassle at the best of times, so Kili isn’t exactly worried when Fili isn’t there yet. But each passing minute builds inside of him, pulse picking up and adrenaline secreting into his bloodstream. Twenty minutes go by, and it’s not like Fili to be this late, he’d have contacted him discretely via Holo if he couldn’t make it.

 

A sense of unease and doubt are his constant companions for the next ten minutes, eyes darting around the dark streets barely lit by gas lamps. Checking his weapons one last time, he makes his way towards the entrance of Murkway, brain calculating through the possible things that could have happened to Fili.

 

It wasn’t uncommon for crooks and thieves such as the Snatchers to grab people off the streets to sell them on the market. The High Ones of the Council were always looking for more people to sell off as well, donating the stolen citizens to the Alchemical Association in hopes of keeping them appeased. His mind displays images of Fili being subject to other horrors besides that, of murder and torture, or god forbid the rewiring process that forced Officiaters went through.

 

Kill thinks of hundreds of horrors as he creeps slowly through the gates of Murkway, eyes darting towards each alleyway and huddled body pressed against cracked brick buildings. There’s shouting coming down from the street, the sound of breaking glass but that’s normal for this part of the city.

 

He’s not sure of what to look for or where to start, so he starts by scenting the area, breathing in deeply and trying to ignore the putrid stench of age-old garbage and decay. There’s a hint of something familiar but the location is hard to place; he creeps quietly between the piles of trash, being careful to keep his head down whenever he passes others.

 

Following the faint scent, he turns down a side street, instantly weary when he sees a group circled around a flaming trashcan. They call out but he ignores it, walking away quickly, desperately searching. Fili never would have willingly gone this far into Murkway. The place was as dangerous to Fili as city center was to Kili.

 

Kili is desperate, and it makes him anxious and reckless, emotions surging through and making quite a mess. Despite months of dealing with them, emotions were still foreign to him, and he consistently found it hard to understand their meanings and machinations. He’s not as careful around the Hologaurds, but thankfully they take no notice of him. The scent he’s following has deepened, taking on a salty sweet scent that is all too familiar to him; blood.

 

The smell and taste of Fili’s blood is something that Kili is intimately aware of, due to the kissing thing. The scent incites a powerful rage, teeth bared and body shaking with pure fury that spills throughout his being. If he’s not careful he could go berserk, but careful is no longer an option, not when Fili is hurt.

 

Kili runs, dodges through trash, people, and the occasional car alike. He ignores the shouts, barely dodges out of site from a Hologaurd and leaps over a vehicle that gets in his way, cloak billowing out like the angel of death. Each footfall on cracked pavement takes him closer, but the fear and anger are spiraling through him, consuming his entire being.

 

It feels like moments and an eternity once he reaches the bloody handprint pressed against the rotted side of a building. A quick sweeping gaze lets him know that the blood is a bit tacky. He’s doesn’t know when Fili left the print, but it’s long enough for him to worry even more so than before.

 

There are no sounds of fighting, no shouting or crying or anything like that, only the sounds of the city filtering through the air. Kili pulls out a knife with one hand, a gun with the other. Bright green eyes follow the trail of dribbled blood, taking in rotted garbage bags that have recently been stepped on.

 

He takes it all in, walking forward and cataloging anything that seemed out of place. Part of his mind whispers that in reality; he’s looking for a body. There’s nothing yet so he continues to follow the blood trail, moving quickly and hoping beyond hope that Fili is okay.

 

It takes him less than a moment to notice that the drips of blood have ended. Eyes scan the walls, searching for any way of entrance into the buildings. He almost misses the little basement window that’s an inch off of the ground, half hidden by spilled trash. Fili’s scent is strongest here.

 

Kili shoves the trash away with his hands, almost tearing the window from its hinges in his search.

 

“Fili?”

 

There’s no response, but he _knows_ that Fili is there. Knows it by the concentrated smell and the smear of blood on the window edge. He can’t see Fili anywhere, though, what with the dingy basement being so crowded full of long forgotten possessions.

 

He slips through the window with a grunt, barely managing to scrape his way through the tiny entrance. Thankfully there’s nothing directly below the window so he manages to drop down with minimal sound. Picking his way through the darkened room, he listens for any sounds. Weeping for joy at the sound of a heartbeat wouldn’t be ideal at the moment, but Kili is certainly internally screaming out his relief.

 

It only takes him a few minutes to find Fili. The blond is wedged between a shelf and a pile of dusty boxes, eyes closed and hair a tangled mess that hangs around his face. Rushing forward, he kneels down in front of Fili, placing his weapons down before he starts running his hands gently along his friend’s body.

 

Fili stirs at the gentle touches, eyes flickering open and hands pressing sluggishly at Kili, trying to keep him away.

 

“It’s okay Fili, it’s me, it’s Kili.”

 

Blue eyes gaze at him for long moments before he stops with his weak protests, eyes a bit glazed and body shivering the tiniest bit. Kili doesn’t like it, he knows the signs of blood loss and it’s apparent that Fili is starting to loose a bit too much.

 

“K-Kili I didn’t- m’sorry I didn’t mean t-to”

 

Kili shushes him gently, hands continuing to probe along until Fili releases a sharp hiss, jerking away when his fingers ghost along the left side of his waist.

 

“Can you move at all Fili? I need to check how bad it is.”

 

Fili nods his head a little, shakily pushing himself out of his hiding spot. Kili helps him maneuver as best as he can, settling him against the shelf. As soon as Fili is in place, Kili pushes his layers of shirts up and out of the way, eyes zeroing in on a deep slice of wound that drips slowly with blood.

 

Hands brush at the blood, trying to get a better feel of it’s length and depth. It only serves to make Fili groan in protest, head flinging back against the shelf. He runs through his options quickly, batting Fili’s hands away when he tries to clutch at the wound. Another moment and he has decided on a course of action, rummaging through his bag for his holo.

 

“Fili, I need you to hold this, okay? I want you to dial up Ori while I try to do something about this,” he gestures at the wound.

 

The blond fumbles with device for only a moment, fingers tapping away as Kili began to tare his cloak into strips. He’s cajoling Fili to lift his back away from the shelf when Ori finally picks up, the 3D Holo-image of his face springing up. Ori’s gaze must take in the current predicament pretty quickly, considering not a moment later he’s groaning.

 

“Kili, where _are_ you!? Why is he bleeding?”

 

Hands deftly finish wrapping the first strip around Fili’s waist, wincing along with the blond when he has to knot the fabric tightly.

 

“Murkway. I just need you to tell me if there’s a safe house nearby Ori, that’s all. Fee’s in bad shape and I need supplies.”

 

“Hold on, let me find your coordinates and I’ll check it out.”

 

Kili continues to work as he waits, binding Fili’s waist as best as he can to try and stem the flow of blood. He wants to yell at Ori to be quicker, but he knows it won’t get him anywhere. Minutes pass and Fili leans his head against Kili’s shoulder, breath ghosting and sending shivers through his skin.

 

“You’re in luck. There’s one about five blocks away from where you are, but it’s not active right now. I don’t know what building you’re hiding in Kili, but you might be better off keeping your friend there and coming back with the supplies, it’s-“

 

“No, I’m not leaving him here Ori.”

 

“You’re in a bad part of the Murk Kili, he’s bleeding and your clothes are torn. It’s suspicious, if you’re seen it could lead to even more trouble for you.”

 

“Just send me the coordinates.”

 

As soon as the location is sent Kili signs off, putting his gun back in its holster but keeping the knife sheathed at his wrist. He pulls Fili off of the ground, wrapping an arm around his waist as best as he can without jostling the wound.

 

The best plan would be to leave the building through the window, but he can tell that Fili won’t be able to manage it. He has no idea if the building is occupied or not which could put them in even graver danger if they’re not quick enough to leave without being noticed.

 

“I need you to listen to me Fili. You have to stay awake, but you need to be quiet. We need to go to the first floor and get out of the building without being seen. I might have to drag you around a little, and I know it’s going to hurt like hell, but you _need_ to be quiet. Do you understand?”

 

“Uh-huh.”

 

Kili doesn’t waste any more time than that, already disturbed by how lethargic Fili is. A common practice when it came to body snatching was dipping blades into a drug to knock the victim out; something that he hopes is the reason behind Fili’s own tiredness. An inactive safe house meant the likelihood of no blood for transfusions. It’s something he doesn’t want to think about.

 

They make it up the stairs with little trouble, but that’s not really what worries him. The door before them is closed but unlocked, and from the sounds of it, there doesn’t seem to be anyone in the house at the moment. But that doesn’t mean that there isn’t someone sleeping somewhere, or that the individuals who live in the house wouldn’t be back before they could get out.

 

Adrenaline seeps through him once again, slowly opening the door and peeking out through the cracks. The hallway is dingy and dark but neat enough, and better yet the lights are off and there are no sounds of movement. Opening the door fully, he helps Fili to walk down the hallway with him, not wasting any time at all before exiting through the front door. They’re more than lucky that a watchdog didn’t reside within the home.

 

“Are you feeling okay Fili?”

 

“M’fine.”

 

His appearance begs to differ, but arguing about it wasn’t worth the effort, not right now. Instead Kili focuses on getting them quickly and quietly through the streets. Only pure luck allows them to go unseen as they maneuvered through them, Fili stumbling and keeping his head pressed firmly against Kili’s shoulder.

 

“Kee, I need to- I need to s-stop. I can’t- I cant-”

 

“It’s just a little further Fili, jut down this alleyway and we’ll get into the safe house.”

 

Fili doesn’t say anything, just groans softly and slumps against him. The logic fueled part of his brain screams that it’s a terrible idea to not leave at least one hand free, but there’s a greater part that reasons Fili is more important. Kili doesn’t hesitate to bend down and lift Fili into his arms, darting quickly down the alleyway in search of the entrance to the safe house.

 

Setting Fili down is the only way that he’s able to find it, having to push a dumpster away from the wall. There’s a section of wall behind it with a dark green x, a chipped hole underneath it that he knows to be the fingerprint terminal. His print is the only thing that will get them into the safe house. He doesn’t stop to watch the doorway appear, instead listening to the cracking sound of shifting stone as he goes to life Fili up once again. He desperately hopes that he’s not too late.

 

* * *

 

 

Kili sits and watches as Fili sleeps, body curled underneath a soft cream-colored blanket. The level of relief that he feels about Fili being safe and sound is indescribable.

 

He’d been correct about his friend being drugged. Under bright lights he’d been able to see the blue tinged ring around the wound. Granted, Fili had still lost a lot of blood, but it wasn’t anything that couldn’t be remedied. There wasn’t any blood for transfusions, but there were blood pills. The pills were only usually used in extreme cases because real blood was preferable to forcing the body to go into overdrive to create more blood cells, but Kili didn’t want to take any chances.

 

After that he’d cleaned out the wound, which was met with a bit of protest on Fili’s part. They were lucky that the wound wasn’t too deep, meaning a few spritzes of syntheskin should be enough. Kili didn’t have much training with it since it was hard to get unless you were a doctor, meaning he was a bit scared to screw it up. Stitches he could do easily, but he feels like he might have messed up the application of the syntheskin because it’s healing so very slowly. Or maybe that had more to do with the fact that Kili isn’t used to the slow healing abilities of humans.

 

Either way, Fili is safe and asleep and he stays that way for hours. Unfortunately, this gives Kili plenty of time to contemplate all the reasons why he should end this friendship or whatever it was that they had. Times were dangerous enough without Kili complicating things, without being the reason that Fili was almost snatched and why he was so deep in the Murkway. He has yet to here Fili’s story concerning what had happened, but something tells him that the blond had only managed to escape capture through pure luck.

 

It’s amazing how much protecting one person means to him, really. He has spent his entire life training to fight for his race, for those who hid in the Evermere biding their time and for those who had already died. Kili has always known that he is meant to be a weapon, has always known that his job is to protect the surviving member of his race. It’s not until now that he really understands what putting another’s life before his own means. It’s not until now that he truly knows what it means to protect.

 

“Kili?”

 

Green eyes dart over to Fili’s slowly moving form, hands resting gently against Fili's shoulders before the blond can try and move too much.

 

“Don’t move around. I don’t think I put the syntheskin on the right way and my first aid is pretty basic so it could tear or something.”

 

“Help me sit up? I can take a quick look.”

 

Kili isn’t sure that it’s a good idea for Fili to be sitting up right now, but his friend is adamant, so he helps him ease up slowly. Lifting his shirt up, Kili helps to unwrap the lightly bloodstained bandages. Fili’s eyes assess the damage quickly, taking in the half healed wound that has stopped bleeding for the most part. The skin looks a little red and raw, but the blue tinge circling it has disappeared at this point, which is a good sign.

 

“It’s good, considering you’ve never been trained to use it before. There’ll probably only be a little scar.”

 

Satisfied, they work together to wrap a clean set of bandages around his waist, fingers brushing gently together every few moments. Usually Fili’s presence makes him feel calm, but at this moment he still feels coiled and taut, a rubber band about to break. Maybe it’s the smell of the blood that still keeps him on edge.

 

“Tell me what happened.”

 

He can sense the unease that spreads through Fili, can physically feel how his muscles tense and his heartbeat jumps up the tiniest bit. Kili doesn’t push anymore than that, continuing to fuss with the bandages while he waits for a response.

 

“I.. it was really stupid. I was waiting for you a little ways away from Murkway, just like we’d planned. But I uhm.. I heard a noise, it sounded like screaming, so I went to go check it out. I got too close and they just.. snatched me. Pulled me into a car and then I fought like hell. It was.. I don’t remember when they cut me with the knife, and I honestly couldn’t tell you now how I managed to get out, but I did. All those fighting skills you’ve been teaching must have just... must have kicked in. You know the rest.”

 

It’s terrifying in its simplicity, really; a chance of circumstance that was the wrong place at the wrong time, too much curiosity and too kind of a heart. Body snatching was so common that it made the daily news. Everyone in the city knew the safety guidelines. Fili knew them better than most, considering Kili had drilled them into his head once they started meeting so close to Murkway. Despite that, it was still almost not enough.

 

“I know that look, Kili. Yeah, it was close, but that doesn’t change anything. This wasn’t your fault.”

 

“You wouldn’t have been there if it wasn’t for me.”

 

“So you want to play the blame game? Fine. It’s my fault because I should have known better than to get too close. I was dumb to check out the screaming, it was stupid of me to put myself in that much danger.”

 

“But-“

 

“It’s no ones fault but theirs, Kili. I’m not going to let you use this as an excuse to stop seeing me.”

 

Kili doesn’t want to fight about this again. He doesn’t want to deal with the shouting, the words that always end up turning barbed and hurtful. The way his head pulses with a fiery need to go berserk, to let his nails extend and slice and for his teeth to sink into flesh. He’s not up for it right now, and he’s certainly not up for the icy glare Fili is shooting at him right now.

 

“Fine. You need to contact your work. You won’t make it in, not at this rate.”

 

“I don’t have any absences, so we won’t have to worry about anyone being suspicious about it at least.”

 

“Small blessings, I guess.”

 

It goes quiet again. An uncomfortable quiet that makes his skin crawl, even more so with Fili’s eyes trained upon him. He should be used to people watching him by now, but everything with Fili was so different.

 

“Are you mad at me?”

 

The question is so outlandish in nature that Kili isn’t even sure if Fili is talking to him at first. But the smooth look on his face and the hesitant look in his eyes spell it out quite easily for Kili. Grabbing Fili’s hand, he twines their fingers together easily, squeezing tightly and trying so hard to convey all the things that he is feeling right now.

 

“Of course I’m not mad at you Fili, not ever for something like this. You just… you scared me. I don’t… I’m not used to this yet. Emotions. I care about my friends back at the facility because that’s whom I grew up with and that’s what I had. But you… you’re a choice, and I’ve never had much of that, not until recently. You mean many things to me, and even for a second, thinking that you were lost or-or _anything_ , it was. It was terrifying. I don’t like that feeling very much.”

 

Fili doesn’t say anything to him in words. He speaks to Kili with the soft dimpled smile that he receives, in the way fingers squeeze his own and a kiss is pressed against the corner of his mouth. The tenseness in his limbs slowly eases away. It takes mere moments for Kili to be pulled down beside Fili, his arms curling gently around him so as not to jostle his wound.

 

Blond strands of hair tickle at his face, smell of shampoo managing to overcome the faint musty smell that still lingers upon Fili. Slowly Kili noses forward, breathing in deeply before he leans a bit more to place a soft kiss on a stubbled jaw.

 

“Sleep. I’ll watch over you.”

 

And so he does, until the sun bleeds into a new day and new troubles come to find them.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and Kudos are always appreciated :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, look at me go, I already have an update! 
> 
> So, this prompt takes place about two months after the events in Murkway. 
> 
> This is also a new chapter, so for those of you who have already read the first three from the prompts work, congrats, you have leveled up! 
> 
> Let me know what you think! Kudos are ALWAYS appreciated, more than you know! 
> 
> This is also a fill for Milliegirl20.
> 
> Enjoy!

* * *

Kili was well aware that he wouldn’t be able to hide his relationship…. Friendship… or whatever you wanted to call it with Fili for forever. At some point, he’d let some kind of detail slip; He would say the wrong thing to someone, Ori would mess up, _something_ would happen for Thorin to figure it out. And he knew that once Thorin found out that things would get complicated and messy, that they would blow up in his face. He hadn’t counted on it turning into such a nightmare though, such a completely devastating mess.

He’s dragged out of his bed in the middle of the night; mind ripped away from coalescing dreams and wishful fantasies that will never come to be. At first he’s disoriented, confused by the rough fingers that dig into his arms, the bright white lights that flash like strobes in his room. Initial shock wears off almost instantly, body tensing and legs aiming for a good kick before there’s a fist smashing into his ribs knocking the breath out of his lungs.

 

Everything is a chaotic mess of yelling and screaming, his own voice mixing in with the familiar sounds of those that have belonged to the compound for years. Arms and legs thrash and flail, but there’s a needle being stabbed into his arm that makes everything feel limp and soft around the edges. Kili has never felt this weak before in his life, and the sensation makes him all the more terrified.

 

“What’s going on?” His voice sounds tinny in his own head, barely his own.

 

“You’re to see Thorin and Dwalin.”

 

A mere mention of the two names provokes a full body shiver, a cocktail of dread and apprehension flitting through his being. Inside his heart of hearts he knows that only one-thing leads to this kind of late night visit, and that’s an accusation of sedition or endangering the cause. It means Fili.

 

Kili doesn’t try to fight after that; doesn’t try to kick or scream, to go berserk or let his emotions get out of control. Anything besides dutiful obedience would only make punishment worse, and it was bound to be harsh already considering what would undoubtedly be on the table. His brain is trying to work in overtime to come up with some kind of plan, but everything is thick and confused by whatever he had been injected with.

           

There’s no choice but to be pulled and dragged down long white hallways, corridor after corridor passing by as they slowly descend and make their way deeper into the ground. It’s cold down in the lower chambers, the heating kept low because it was best for interrogation and jailing purposes.

 

A plain white door just like every other door is where they stop, a fist knocking loudly before it slides open. Before entering he had every intention of playing by the rules, of doing whatever he needed to do to protect Fili. Before entering that room, everything was different and it was all just a surreal dream.

 

It all changes with a single glance, green eyes sluggishly taking in the sight, realization dawning on him in slow increments. Thorin and Dwalin both stood at the center of the room, eyes blazing bright in the dimly lit area, standing in almost identical position. Behind them, lying still on the ground, is a slumped over body with a smear of blood beside it, honey colored waves splayed out upon the scuffed floor.

 

“Fili! No, please no, please not him! Don’t hurt him, please don’t hurt him!”

 

All thoughts of playing along have flown out the window, heart pounding and adrenaline spidering through his veins, fear clawing at his mind. Every attempt to break free from his captors hold is accompanied with harsh punches and swears, the world devolving into nothing but rage and fear. The need to go berserk rests at the edges of his mind, an unattainable wish no matter how hard he tries to reach it, no matter how he bites and kicks and ignores the snarled words that Thorin and Dwalin yell at him.

 

“Hold him down and dose him again!”

 

Kili fights, but the previous dose has already made him feel flimsy and useless, and it doesn’t take long for his face to be smashed down into the floor, a body sitting on top of him and twisting his arms behind him as a syringe is emptied into the back of his neck. He couldn’t fight even if he wanted to, weak as a kitten curled up on the floor.

 

“You both may leave. Kili will be undergoing questioning for the foreseeable future. “

 

Thorin’s voice is harsh and cold, brittle against the backdrop of Kili’s mind. Everything is spinning, his muscles twitching and breath coming out in short gasps.

 

“D’ya think we dosed him too much?”

 

“He’ll recover.”

 

They’re quiet for the time being, circling around him with their thick-soled boots, but Kili only has eyes for the blond man he cannot reach. How could he possibly protect Fili when he’s so dosed up that he can barely even twitch a muscle?

 

He doesn’t get to think about it for long, hands manhandling him into a chair that had been brought in, lengths of chain being wrapped around his numb limbs. Thorin moves to stand before him while Dwalin moves beside Fili, gaze staring down in contempt at the body on the floor.

 

“Pl-please don’t hurt him.”

 

“There’ll be no need for him to be hurt as long as you answer all of our questions, Kili. If your stories match, there shouldn’t be a problem.”

 

“You didn’t have to bring him here, you didn’t have to hurt him!”

 

“We’ll do whatever is necessary to make sure our cause isn’t sidelined. You know better than anyone that relations with outsiders is prohibited, you know that secrecy is of the utmost importance to our organization. You’ve become involved with a human, you’ve-“

 

“I did what you told me to do! I’ve been recruiting people to our side!”

 

“We didn’t mean by sleeping your way through them,” Dwalin snarled.

 

Even with all of the drugs in his system, Kili can feel the way that his cheeks flush. His head is so blurry that he doesn’t know how to say that he _hasn’t_ slept with Fili. They’d kissed and done a few other things but never- he didn’t know how he _felt_ about Fili.

 

“I-I didn’t-“

 

“So you deny sleeping with him?”

 

“No! I-I mean yes!! We didn’t do that! We haven’t done anything!”

 

A hand smashes against the side of his face, lip splitting and chest heaving at the sting that Thorin’s action leaves behind. He doesn’t care about his face or the pain though, all he cares about is the fact that Dwalin is bending over Fili, fingers curling into the tresses of his hair to turn his face towards Kili. There’s a syringe being drawn from a pouch at Dwalin’s waist, needle sharp edge pressed into the flesh of Fili’s neck while the plunger is pushed down.

 

“That’s the last time you lie in this room. You haven’t done anything? How come his lips are all torn up, Kili? Why did he tell us that you’ve had sexual encounters? That isn’t just nothing!”

 

“Yes! Yes we kissed, we-we felt each other up a little we didn’t- we didn’t do anything else, I promise, we just- we didn’t-“

 

“If you keep lying to me I won’t be able to believe a single word that comes out of your mouth Kili.” Thorin is matter of fact about it, voice carefully controlled once again. Silence reigns, only for a low groan to come from Fili. At this Dwalin pulls him up onto his feet, arms held tightly behind the blonds back. Fili wakes slowly, barely able to stand up on his feet.

 

“I won’t lie anymore I promise! I won’t lie just please don’t hurt him, this isn’t his fault!”

 

“When was your first encounter with him?”

 

“Five months ago! It was w-when I snuck out and I almost got caught but he-he saved me, he patched me up and he took care of me.”

 

“Did you background check him after your encounter?”

 

“Not-not after the first encounter, no. He helped me, I didn’t think he was suspicious, so I – so I met with him again before I did the background check.”

 

It’s clear that Thorin is upset about that little tidbit, eyes narrowing as he turns to look at Fili. At this point he’s more or less awake, breathing slowly and watching Kili with careful eyes. He wants to comfort him, to apologize and say that he’s so sorry for this enormous mess that he has made.

 

“Who is he, then? You did the background check, tell me everything you know about him.”

 

“His name is-is Fili Nevins, he’s 21, he graduated top of his class and is currently enrolled in a learning program at the hospital. He’s a second year doctor, he grew up in Drell Side, he’s an only child, his father died when he was little, he doesn’t have any debt, no applications with the officiators, no tickets, no interactions with the Alchemical Association, and no illegal activities such as work with the body snatchers.”

 

“And who is his mother, Kili?”

 

He doesn’t reply right away, stomach rolling and eyes flickering back and forth between Thorin and Fili. An answer is unavoidable, but he doesn’t want the words to enter the air, doesn’t want to say them out loud because it’s all the admission that Thorin would need to find him guilty and to keep Fili as a prisoner. His head spins, the air is charged with unspoken words and anger, but he takes too long to respond, Thorin taking it upon himself to walk over to Fili.

 

“Stop! Stop, please don’t, please!” It’s a desperate plea, and despite his willingness to talk and the flash of something in Thorin’s eyes, he still chooses to make a point. A closed fist pulls back, knuckles bloodless from being clenched too tight, mere moments passing before the fist is making contact with Fili’s ribs. He can hear the crack from where he stands.

 

Fili chokes and gasps like he is drowning, trying to drag in breaths that won’t come as he doubles over, Dwalin the only thing that keeps him upright. Tears form at the corner of his eyes and it’s all that Kili can do to not start screaming again. His heart is heavy and hard in his chest, insides throbbing while he watches Fili struggle just to draw in a breath, mouth gaping and chest heaving. He can practically taste the agony that’s pouring off of him.

 

“Who is his mother.”

 

“She- her name is- is Dis and she- she’s on the High Council, she’s an honorary member of the Alchemical Association and she-she helped to implement the plan used to destroy the Evermere and sys-systematically destroy our people.”

 

“And this is her son?”

 

“Yes, just- he didn’t do anything wrong, he has no ties to her anymore, he’s not a threat, I swear he’s not a threat!”

 

“And how the hell do you know that, Kili!? How do you know that he isn’t feeding her information about every interaction that he has with you!?”

 

Thorin is yelling, Dwalin is shaking Fili like a broken rag doll, and Kili is shaking with anxiety and anger, and Fili just gasps in pain, face white as a sheet.

 

“Because I just know! He’s been helping me; he comes along with me sometimes! He’s just- he’s my- I trust him with my life, Thorin, please can’t you just trust that!? I wouldn’t betray the cause and you can’t- you can’t blame Fili for what his mom did, that isn’t his fault!”

 

He’s yelling again, voice raw and head spinning, but Dwalin stops and he doesn’t know if Fili is whimpering or moaning out breathy sobs. Maybe he’s doing both. And it’s entirely his fault.

 

“You want me to let him go based on no solid information? When he could easily be spying for his mother, for the Council and the Association? This isn’t a game Kili.”

 

“I know that! I’m not an idiot, I’ve been out there, I’ve seen the things that they do and the way that they treat their people! Fili doesn’t support the system, he doesn’t like it! He told me as much the very first time that I met him!”

 

“And what if you’re wrong, Kili? What if he is a spy, what if he single handedly destroys everything that we’ve been working towards?”

 

He wishes that Thorin would just accept his words and that he would just believe him, but that’s not how this game works. Thorin is digging, and Kili knows exactly what he wants to hear, but it eats him alive that he has to say it in front of Fili because he didn’t want the blond to know how completely distrustful he was for the first two months of their friendship.

 

“I followed him, okay? Is that what you want to hear? I know he’s not a threat because for the first two months I surveillanced him all day, three times a week, to make sure that he wasn’t ratting me out to his mother. I checked his mail, I bugged his phone, I followed a few of his friends around. I was weary from the beginning about his connections, I had to make sure he wasn’t a threat but-but as soon as I was positive that he wasn’t I stopped.”

 

Fili is doubled over, but he looks up at him through the tresses of his tangled and bloodstained hair, watching him. More than anything he wishes he understood the emotions within them, to know what Fili is thinking. He wishes he could wipe away the tears that have tracked through dirt stained cheeks.

 

“You feel guilty for following him?”

 

“He’s my friend, he trusted me to believe him, I-“

 

“There’s no room for guilt here. It’s your job to make sure that the people you interact with aren’t threats.”

 

If that’s true, why does his conscious weigh so heavy?

 

So many thoughts bounce around in his pounding skull, mouth too dry and skin prickling with numbness. He wants to vomit, to curl up in a ball, to not have to listen to the noises of pain that are coming out of Fili’s mouth. More than anything he wants this to be over, for Dwalin and Thorin to stop looking at one another silently as they all stay motionless in the confines of the cold room.

 

“We’ll let him go. Theodred will be sent to surveillance him at random for the next three weeks. If he contacts anyone, we will know, and he will be dealt with accordingly. You better be right about him, Kili.”

 

“You’re- that’s it?”

 

“You know who is mother is. As an asset, as an ally, he’ll prove to be very important I’m sure. But if he gets in the way of you doing your job, if you go on another wild gallivant through the Murkway like you did two months ago with absolutely no secrecy, I’ll personally make sure that he’s eliminated form this equation, do you understand?”

 

“Y-yes.”

 

“Good.”

 

Thorin turns away from him then, eyeing up the bruised and shuddering blond whose arms are still being held back by Dwalin. There’s a matt of blood in his hair, a bruise forming on his jaw and a tear in the dark blue fabric of his shirt.

 

“Do you understand the terms, Fili? Kili vouches and says that you can be trusted, that you stand with us. If that’s the case, I’m sure you’ll have no problem beginning direct work with us.”

 

“Doesn’t seem like I have much of a choice in the matter,” Fili glares, voice ragged and raw.

 

“No, you don’t. But I think we can both agree to be amicable about this, for your sake and for Kili’s. Our methods must be harsh in your eyes, but that’s the cost of a successful rebellion. The wounds you sustained during questioning will heal with time, and in a short while you’ll be returned to your home.”

 

Fili doesn’t say anything to that, eyes narrowed but face as still as a lake on a warm summers night. Thorin doesn’t wait for another response, maintaining his hard demeanor as he walks back over to Kili and releases him from the chains that held him down.

 

“Are you okay to stand?”

 

“I’ll be fine.”

 

He doesn’t want Thorin’s worry, even if it’s only the meaningless kind that is about the survival of an asset in his war. Green eyes try to catch the gaze of Fili’s, but he resolutely keeps his gazed focused away from Kili. The ache in his stomach only increases.

 

“Since the two of you seem to get along so well, you can work together in the oncoming months; I’m sure you’ll both do great things for the resistance. Dwalin and I will get a transport to bring you back home. The two of you can chat for now.”

 

Dwalin moves away, Fili stumbles and slumps against the wall, and the two men leave the room in a matter of silent seconds. Even though the effects of what he’d been drugged with had started to wear off, Kili still feels numb and frozen in place. He doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know what to do in the face of this horrible situation he had created.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me you knew?” Fili’s eyes are finally looking at him, but they’re so cold, completely devoid of the happy light that usually shone so brightly through them.

 

“I-I didn’t think it was a big deal, you weren’t a threat so I just- just didn’t say anything, I didn’t- I don’t care that she’s your mother.”

 

“And how long after you found out who I was… how long did it take you to decide on using me?”

 

“I didn’t- Fili-“

 

“No, you know, it makes sense. I mean, why would someone in your position actually want to befriend me? ” He’s never heard that kind of acidic tone in Fili’s voice before, dripping with venom that threatens to stop Kili’s heart. Those eyes are boring into him, watching and gauging everything he does or says.

 

“I had to make sure you weren’t a threat you- Fili I told you I wouldn’t be a good friend for you, I told you that this could be dangerous!”

 

“There’s a difference between being a dangerous friend and being a friend that gets me ripped out of bed, beaten, then blackmailed! There’s a difference between dangerous and death, Kili!”

 

“That isn’t fair, and you know it!”

 

“You know what isn’t fair?! The fact that you lied to me, or maybe the fact that you can’t even admit that we’re _not_ just friends!”

 

Any color in his face has drained, stomach clenching as his fingers grasp tightly around the arms of the chair. The air is icy on his skin, making Fili’s harsh and angry gaze even worse. He doesn’t know how to argue or defend his actions, and he doesn’t know how to say that he doesn’t _know_ what he and Fili are. All he knows is the way Fili is watching him makes him feel like the monster that he is. Maybe all the stories were true. Maybe all he was good for was being a weapon for his people, a machine to destroy enemies. Maybe love was just an empty crack in his chest never to be filled.

 

“I trust you more than anyone in my life, Fili! I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I’m sorry I lied, I didn’t think you’d find out, not like this! And I’ll admit it, I did use you those first two months because any information we can get on your mother is invaluable! And I admit I didn’t trust you at first, I though you’d give me up but I was wrong! As soon as I realized you weren’t a danger, I stopped!”

 

“And that just makes it okay in your eyes?”

 

“I’m not saying that it’s okay, Fili! I’m saying I’m sorry! I’m saying that I realized I liked you and I couldn’t do it anymore!”

 

Fili laughs harsh and loud; finger nails digging into the half crumbled walls. There’s so much anger and rage filling his eyes, and Kili doesn’t know how to fix that.

 

“And how am I supposed to know that you’re not lying to me right now? How am I supposed to know that this isn’t just all a part of some elaborate plan that you cooked up!?”

 

Tears of frustration are building at the corners of his eyes, but he will not let them fall, he will not give in to the salty burn. He won’t be weak, not here. Not when Fili is watching him so murderously.

 

“Because you’re right! Because we _are_ more than friends and I do care about you I wouldn’t- Fili you have to believe me, you have to believe it when I say I didn’t want anything like this to _ever_ happen! I didn’t think Thorin would bring you in, I thought he’d tell me to be careful and try to recruit you and leave it at that!”

 

He can tell that Fili doesn’t want to believe him. He can see it in the frothing heat in his eyes, the pained breaths and the harsh look on his face.

 

“I don’t know how to believe you.”

 

“Don’t you think I know what I’ve done? Don’t you think I hate myself for putting you in this position, don’t you know I’m tearing myself apart knowing that I’ve put you into even greater danger than before?”

 

“You-“

 

“I’ve risked my life for you, this entire rebellion for you! And that’s why you’re here! I followed you into Murkway because the thought of you being tortured by the snatchers or being sold to the Alchemical Association made me want to die! I went to Fiernight with you even though every time I see fire I hear screaming in my head! I saved your friend from being sold for you, I- I put my life at risk for you!”

 

“Kili…”

 

“None of this changes anything unless you let it. So just- _please_ don’t let it.”

 

He doesn’t have proof, he doesn’t have anything but his word, and he doesn’t know if that’s even enough. Because Fili is looking at him with lost blue eyes, face twisted in a cascade of emotions. Kili can feel his entire body shaking.

 

“I want to believe you. I’m just- I don’t think I know you as well as I thought I did.”

 

Everything feels like it’s cracking at the seams.

 

“You know me better that anyone. You’ve shown me an entirely new world and whatever we have, it’s real, and it’s good. I promise.”

 

Fili doesn’t say anything. Fingers run through strands of hair stained with blood, eyes trained on anything that isn’t Kili.

 

“I need a few days, Kili. I need some space I need- I need to think.”

 

It’s not forgiveness, it’s not a screw off, it’s not much of anything really. His chest aches at having no clear resolution, and he can’t bring himself to look at Fili any longer, instead staring at the water stains trailing down the corner of the opposite wall.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

Kili doesn’t wait for Fili to say anything, he doesn’t wait for Thorin or Dwalin to come in. There’s nothing left to be said. He stumbles out of the room without another word, only slightly surprised to see that Thorin is waiting outside for him.

 

“It had to be done, Kili.”

 

“No. It really didn’t.”

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! The next update is going to be a little fluffier to balance out the angst of this one and should be up sometime next week :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a fill for Linane-Art :) 
> 
> This prompt also takes place somewhere between the Murkway incident and Fili being brought in by Thorin. 
> 
> Comments and Kudos are always appreciated :)

* * *

 

He’s finishing up with dinner cleanup when he hears the clatter at the window, dishes settling lightly into the sink to be washed at a later time. If he weren’t friends or… something, with Kili, he’d be worried. But the knocking at the window is actually semi frequent these days.

 

He’s heading towards the living room when a brown haired head pops through, body clumsily following through. He barely manages to shut the window.

 

“Kili?”

 

He doesn’t respond to his name, stumbling forward and wrapping chilled arms around Fili’s waist. A mere glimpse of black-bagged eyes and pure exhaustion is all he sees before Kili is pressing his face against Fili. He’s worried to be honest, because Kili has never come to him so completely drained before.

 

“Kili, are you okay?”

 

“’M so tired Fee.”

 

Fili doesn’t need to hear anything more than that. It’s obvious that Kili is sleep deprived, maybe even a little warm. Looking so bone weary, he was certainly ready for the recovery of lying in a comfortable bed.

 

“You can sleep in my room. C’mon.”

 

Somehow he manages to corral Kili into his bedroom, carefully guiding him the whole way.

 

“Are you sure you’re okay Kili?”

 

He doesn’t like the way Kili is stumbling about, eyes hazy and limbs ever so clumsy.

 

“I feel-feel weird. All heavy and hot and my head-my head hurts so bad Fili, I want it to stop.”

 

A deep frown forms across his face, lips pursed and blue eyes focusing in on Kili more closely. Pale skin is even more so than usual, and there’s an ever so slight shiver running through his body.

 

“Kili, have you ever been sick before?”

 

“N-no.”

 

For the moment he says nothing, opening the door to his bedroom and turning on the light. Kili’s eyes blink shut at the sudden change in lighting, groaning as a hand lifted up to cover them. It takes a few minutes, but he adjusts. For a moment, the bleary eyed look fades away to turn into one of curiosity and barely hidden glee. Half healed lips open on an oh before he stumbles towards the bed.

 

“There’s- there’s so many pillows! Fee, why do you have so many pillows?”

 

Kili plops down onto the queen sized bed, hands reaching out and latching onto one of the downy feather pillows. Long arms crush the pillow against hist chest, face pressing against the soft cotton of the case.

           

“I just like lots of pillows.”

 

“I wish I had this many pillows at the compound,” Kili grumbles, and before he can protest Kili is crawling onto the bed shoes and all, practically throwing himself into the pile of pillows.

 

“Kili…”

 

The man’s name is drowned out on a long sigh of exasperation and fondness. Kili doesn’t seem to react besides to grab the pillow from before to wrap his arms around it once again. Green eyes watch Fili from the bed, hazy with sleep that he doesn’t seem to want to fall into just yet.

 

“I think I’m sick Fee.”

 

“I think you are too.”

 

“I’ve never been sick before. I don’t like it.”

 

Fili can’t help but to laugh at that, pushing off the door frame to gently pull Kili’s shoes off. At least, he tries to be gentle, but the leather boots are covered in an assortment of buckles and ties. Kili grumbles all the while, even more so when he makes Kili take off his traveling cloak. He doesn’t like how hot the skin beneath the cloak is, hating even more so the shiver that runs through Kili’s body.

 

“I thought you were immune to sickness?”

 

“M’not. Just resistant to most stuff and-and it all mutates anyways. Y’know? Never know if I’ll get something weird.”

 

It doesn’t take Fili longer than a moment to decide that he’s going to give Kili a quick exam. The little monster residing on his bed thoroughly disagrees with this action, though; as soon as Fili tries to sit him up, Kili is whining and protesting, batting away his hands every time he tries to touch. After a few minutes of not getting anywhere, he decides on a new plan of action.

 

“Whiny little gremlin,” Fili mutters, setting a kettle out to boil while he looks through his assortment of teas. He places a bag in a mug, leaving the water to boil so he can grab his medical kit. There’s a blood reader inside of it that he’d like to use on Kili, which would make the diagnosis process much easier. All he would need was a sample of blood to stick into it, and the reader would do the rest.

 

After gathering supplies he goes back out to the kitchen to grab sugar and a bit of milk for the tea, carrying all of it back to the bedroom. He enters the room only to find that Kili had made a nest of pillows in the middle of his bed, the top of his head barely peaking out from the mass. Setting the tea and the medical kit down, Fili crawls his way over the pillows in beside Kili, careful not to jostle him too much.

 

“Kili, I need you to sit up so I can figure out what’s wrong with you.”

 

“No! Everything hurts, I want to stay here where it’s comfy and warm.”

 

“You can lay back down once I’m done, I promise. If I can figure out what’s wrong, I can make you feel better sooner.”

 

He refuses to comply, burrowing down even further if that’s possible. If he’s going to get anything done, Fili knows that he’ll have to bribe him.

 

“I made a cup of chamomile tea for you. It’s nice and warm and it’ll help your head. It’ll make you feel better.

 

Kili pokes his head up hesitantly at that, nose scrunched up and eyebrows furrowed the littlest bit. He’d find it endearing if he wasn’t so frustrated.

 

“Why will tea make me feel better? It’s-It’s just warm herb water! I don’t understand humans, why would you drink that?”

 

Kili’s looking at him as if he holds all of the answers in the world; he really doesn’t know much of anything.

 

“It’s comforting, and it tastes nice. I guess it just makes a lot of people feel safe.”

 

“But it’s just weird flavored water….”

 

“How about you try it. You can drink it after I give you a little checkup.”

 

“We’re not allowed tea at the compound. Dwalin says it’s silly.”

 

Once again Fili finds himself wishing that Kili didn’t have to grow up in such a militant setting. He wants to give Kili the entire world he has been missing out on.

 

“I know it doesn’t make sense. Sometimes humans just relate things to comfort and contentment. It’s relaxing. Some people like tea the way you like sticky buns.”

 

That seems to help Kili to understand a bit better, though he still looks a tad bit hesitant. It never ceases to amaze him on how quickly Kili can go from exuberant to completely skeptical. Before he does anything, though, he wants to explain what he’s going to do.

 

“I’m going to take your blood with this, okay? I just need a good vein and a syringe of blood, and this will test it out and tell us what’s up.”

 

He’s holding up the tester to show to Kili, but he doesn’t even look remotely bothered by the idea of it. If anything, it seems to be completely routine. Wordlessly he pulls up the sleeve of his shirt, holding out a pale arm as he sits patiently and waits. No reaction to being tested but every reaction to the mere thought of a cup of tea. It makes him angry, it makes him want to better understand the life that Kili led at the compound.

 

Sighing, he wraps a long rubber band above Kili’s elbow to help him find a good vein. It doesn’t take long at all, and Kili watches the needle go in with hazy eyes. He’s never been watched by a patient while taking blood before.

 

“You’re better at this than Oin. He doesn’t even bother with a band. He just shoves it in and hopes for the best.”

 

There are a lot of things he’d like to say to that, none of them pleasant or kind. But he doesn’t want to fight with Kili while he’s sick, so he bites his tongue and stays silent. He pulls the needle out, Kili’s skin healing the miniscule wound within moments. It only takes him a moment to hand over the tea in reward, along with a little cup of milk and some sugar waiting on the side table.

 

“Try a sip. If you want it sweeter we can put some sugar in it, or milk if you want.”

 

Kili frowns at the steaming liquid, sniffing it lightly and sloshing it around a bit. Fili will be surprised if he doesn’t end up needing to wash all of his bedding after this ordeal.

 

“It’s not going to bite you.”

 

“Shutup, Fee.”

 

Fili watches with a small smile as Kili slowly brings the mug to his lips. Green eyes squinch shut as the tiniest of sips are taken, adams apple bobbing lightly on the pale planes of Kili’s throat. The mug is moved away slowly, eyes blink open, and Kili doesn’t look completely disgusted.

 

“Can I have sugar?”

 

Fili passes it over along with the milk and a spoon, watching as Kili dumps in at least half of the sugar bowl along with a splash of milk. The spoon is dipped in, carefully mixing the contents of the cup before Kili takes another careful sip. This time there’s a content sigh accompanied with it.

 

“I think I get it now. And I think I like tea.”

 

“That’s because you just dumped a gallon of sugar in it.”

 

Worried green eyes peer up at his words, small frown spreading over his face.

 

“Did I do it wrong?”

 

He’s instantly backtracking from the teasing comment because it’s obvious that Kili is now feeling self-conscious.

 

“No, not at all! Some people like lots of sugar, others don’t like any at all. You can drink it however you like, that’s the beauty of it. I’m sorry if my teasing made you feel bad.”

 

Before anything else can be said, the blood reader is beeping, the screen flashing lightly to make them visually aware that the time is up. Fili picks up the device and taps a few buttons, shutting off the alarm before he starts to read over the results on the screen.

 

“I’ve never seen something like this before. From what the reader is telling me, you have some form of meningitis. Your symptoms are extremely muted though…. it seems to be a completely different strain from the one I’ve seen.”

 

“Okay…. How do we make it stop?” Kili’s curled up against his side, sipping his tea slowly while Fili sets the reader down on the side table.

 

“In your case, I’m not really sure. I think you just need to rest, get some fluids, maybe a few over the counter pain and fever reducers.”

 

“Don’t you have a magical pill or something that’ll just make it go away?” Kili whines before he sucks down the last of the tea, passing the empty mug off to Fili before he instantly goes to grab his- no _Fili’s_ pillow.

 

“There’s no ‘making it go away’. There are ways to make it burn out faster but- well I don’t know how they’ll react to your body chemistry. I don’t want to hurt you, but you know what’s wrong now, so if you really want it to go away, maybe you could see if your doctor back at the compound could-“

 

“I want to stay with you. Oin isn’t half as nice and there are pillows and tea here.”

 

“Oh I see. You just want to stay here so you can use all of my things.”

 

Kili doesn’t bother to respond to that, pressing close against Fili as he curled up against his side once again. He can feel the heat radiating off of Kili’s skin.

 

“M’head still hurts Fee an’ everything's hot.”

 

Half formed words slur from Kili’s mouth, fingers unclenching from the pillow to paw at Fili’s arm. If he knows Kili like he thinks he does, then the brunet is almost certainly downplaying how much pain and discomfort he’s in, even if he was still being a whiny brat.

 

“I need you to sit up so I can give you something then, okay? It’ll make your head hurt less and your body less hot.”

 

Sluggishly Kili sits up, eyes drooping and hair a complete mess of tangles. He looks exhausted, shoulders sagging and mouth tight at the corners from pain. Fili quickly pulls out a few pills, deciding to double the normal dose because he knows Kili’s metabolism will burn them off fast.

 

“Do you need me to grab you something to drink?”

 

“No.”

 

Kili grabs the pills with fumbling hands, knocks them back and swallows them dry. He falls back into his pillow nest almost instantly. Fili moves to get up, but the slight shift he makes is enough for Kili to start grumbling again, body squirming and shifting around until his arms are wrapped around Fili’s waist.

 

“Kili, I need to turn finish the dishes and-“

 

“No, stay.”

 

“Kili.”

 

“Fili.”

 

It’s almost too easy to resign himself to his fate, reaching a hand out to grab his holo to shut the lights off through the house interface. Kili sighs in satisfaction at that, face nuzzled securely against Fili’s side.

 

“You’re extremely needy when you’re sick,” Fili murmurs, an endeared tone to his voice. It’s clear that he doesn’t truly mind having to deal with a sick Kili. It’s kind of sweet, actually, the way Kili so readily wanted to be cared for.

 

“It’s scary.”

 

And it must be scary, considering Kili had never encountered being sick before. The brunet could always count on his body, on his genetics, to keep him safe. Right now that wasn’t possible.

 

“I won’t let anything happen to you. I’m going to take care of you.”

 

But Kili doesn’t hear the words, already dropping into feverish dreams. Maybe that was for the best.

 

* * *

 

 

Fili wakes up to a loud crash, heart pounding as he shoots up in bed while trying to wipe away sleep induced confusion. For a moment he has forgotten why all of his pillows are all over the bed, but then-

 

“Kili!?”

 

The brunet was nowhere to be seen in the room. Fili’s heart practically jumps into his throat, stomach coiling into knots as his legs untangle from sheets to leap from the bed, making his way quickly towards the location of the sound.

 

“Kili!?”

 

He swerves quickly into the kitchen, freezing when he sees wide green eyes peering around the corner of the fridge, the electronic can opener that usually resided by the toaster in pieces on the floor.

 

“Kili what are you doing? You should be in bed, you don’t feel well, remember?”

 

“I feel better now! I’m sorry Fee I didn’t mean to break it! I woke up and-and I was bored and you were still asleep so I decided to explore and I touched it and it moved and made a noise and I-“

 

“Breathe, Kili. It’s okay.”

 

Fili steps forward carefully, doing his best to avoid any sharp bits on the floor. Kili is still watching him with wide eyes that dart between himself and the broken machine. He doesn’t hesitate to pull Kili into a comforting hug.

 

“It’s okay Kili. It’s a can opener, you use it to open up vegetables and things. It won’t do anything.”

 

Well, it certainly wouldn’t do anything now, that was for certain. At least Kili seemed to calm down a little bit from his words, hesitant arms wrapping around Fili, eyes still glued to the mess he had made.

 

“I can get a new one for you, I’m sorry I broke it Fili I’m- I’m so stupid and I get scared over the most ridiculous things. I really didn’t mean to break it.”

 

He pulls away from Kili slowly, raising his hand to gently brush tangled hair away from Kili’s face.

 

“Kili, look at me.”

 

It takes a moment, but Kili eventually raises mournful eyes to look into his own, body fidgeting gently in Fili’s arms.

 

“You’re not stupid Kili, you’re so very far from that. And I’m not mad. Something like that is easy to replace. As for being sorry… you don’t have to apologize for being afraid of something. It’s an understandable reaction, and I know you didn’t do it on purpose.”

 

“But-“

 

“No buts. Everything’s fine, I promise. I wouldn’t lie to you.”

 

“Okay…”

 

“Now. Are you sure you’re feeling better?”

 

“My head still hurts a little bit, but I think overall I feel much better. I’m don’t feel hot anymore.”

 

He holds Kili close while he talks, keeping him there for a few moments longer before he moves to let go, but Kili won’t let him just yet.

 

“Fili… what’s that thing over there?”

 

Kili is pointing where he can’t see, smile spreading across his face because Kili’s curiosity could only be kept under control for so long. He’s aiming at the toaster.

 

“Help me clean this up and then I’ll show you how it works.”

 

It only takes a few minutes for the pieces to be thrown in the trash and for a few slices of toast to be popped down in the device. Fili even pulls the stools over from the bar so they can sit and watch, Kili tense beside him. His fingers are clenched around Fili’s as they sit and wait, eyes glued to the toaster as he watched in fascination. The pop comes sudden, and Kili’s reaction is completely priceless; hand letting go of his own only to tumble off the stool into a heap. It’s easy to see that Kili is caught somewhere between fascination and maybe a slight sense of terror.

 

“Why does it pop up like that!?”

 

“To let you know when it’s done, Kee.”

 

“Why can’t it just beep to let you know!? Why is it so violent and-and jumpy!”

 

“It’s just how they are. Maybe we can take up this design flaw with the patent holder though.”

 

Fili’s only joking, but it seems that Kili isn’t.

 

“I think we should.”

 

He’s all manner of serious, finger poking at the side of the toaster while he continued to eye it up warily. Fili barely manages to hold in his laughter. Something tells him that Kili wouldn’t appreciate it all that much.

 

“I’ll start a draft later. But I think for now you should lay down and rest a bit more.”

 

“But my head doesn’t even hurt that bad anymore! And I’m not even woozy Fili, I’m much better!”

 

“I’m just worried about you. I don’t like that you got sick when you never have been before. Do you have any idea of how it happened?”

 

“I was visiting the lowers. I brought supplies and spoke to a few of the leaders. They’re getting restless and the Council keeps making it harder and harder for them to get out of the slums. They even enacted a power cut to Murkway and Southside a few days ago. I spent some time there because I ran into a bit of trouble, but I know most of them aren’t vaccinated. It probably happened there.”

 

“My hospital tried to organize an event to get some of the kids vaccinated in Murkway, but the Council shut it down. It was most probably because my mother saw my name on the proposal. “

 

Kili doesn’t really say much to that, instead moving to look at the toaster again.

 

“It’s terrible that they have to suffer, but hopefully it’ll change soon. Just like hopefully I’ll stop being frightened by this stuff. You must think I’m silly, but it’s all so different in holovids.”

 

“I don’t think you’re silly... maybe a little funny, and sweet. You can’t help that there are things you don’t understand or know.”

 

Kili turns and smiles, sharp teeth flashing bright in the light of the kitchen. A normal person might find it terrifying or flinch away, but Fili only sees the beauty. It had taken months for Kili not to be shy about his smile.

 

“Thank you for being so patient with me. I know I can be a lot sometimes.”

 

“I think you’re just enough. Now c’mon, lets get back to the pillow nest you’ve created so you can get some more rest before you have to leave.”

 

The words are like magic, Kili moving easily towards the bedroom.

 

Fili wishes that it could always be like this. Forever only like this.

 

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and Kudos are always appreciated! And for those of you who have already read this on my tumblr prompts, I did a little bit of editing and shifted a few things around a bit. 
> 
> Also, this fic is kind of odd because it kind of starts of as "hot" and goes into a slow burn, mainly due to the fact that it was originally meant to be a one shot. Needless to say it's been interesting to write :)


End file.
